'Just a routine test.'

So i just completed the first week of my 5th attachment with the school. Prior to attachment, I was looking forward to all the thrilling cases i was to take charge of. I had hoped that i would learn first hand the various diseases and perioperative care we have to carry out. However, what i learnt was far, far from what we could learn in any textbook.

We often tell ourselves or our patients, for that matter, that it's gonna be 'just a normal test, there's no need to be worried.' However, these test results could determine a person's life or death. The test has no direct correlation with whether a person lives or die. However, it can kill a person's spirit and zeal to live.

When we attend a funeral, we hear people ask about what had happened and what had led to the decline. They would then reply with 'Oh, he/she had so and so and stayed in the hospital for ___ period. He/she passed on soon after.' However as a healthcare professional, you deal with the hospital period. You see first hand what this person had been like prior to the funeral. I, for one did not have the privilege to live with my grandparents and know what it's like to lose a kin so close to oneself. I attended funerals, though. All i ever see are bodies lying there in perfect rest. I've never been the one to weep at the bedside of a dying person. So I don't know what it's like.

This time round though, I've had patients ask me in private how long their lives could be prolonged, should they undergo certain procedures. These moments that make me realize how one decision can affect that person and his/her family.

I'm sorry that i cannot be anymore specific and i know that my train of thoughts are kinda all over the place but please understand that i have a strict protocol to follow and that is the privacy policy. I hope whoever is reading this will understand the message i am trying to put through to you. Live your life to the uttermost. Treasure the time you have with people around you. Make friends, make enemies. It's alright, as long as you keep fighting for yourself, for the ones and things you love.

Don't ever give up.